Robin Williams

I guess by now (Aug 12 2014) most have heard that the comedic genius Robin Williams has died from what they are saying was self-inflicted asphyxiation – suicide. Of course now we are hearing a great deal about his battle for many, many years with depression – which lead to substance abuse – which created more depression – which give the false requirement of more self-medicating…  what a vicious cycle.  

This is a quote attributed to him - “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone.” It seems odd to us, heartbreakingly so, that a man who could entertain us, make us laugh and in the case of Patch Adams make us cry would suffer from debilitating depression. But remember that old saying that – “its lonely at the top” – that was made up for a reason.

A person can seem to have it all together, they may seem to be the pinnacle, and they may present a smiling face and share the gift of laughter – all while slowly dying inside. They appear to those around them to be what we might even want to emulate, but all the while they feel lonely, depressed and broken (though the world tells them they have everything going for them).

Let me give you a couple of biblical examples. In 1 Kings chapter 19 Elijah the great prophet of God is running for his life, he is scared, he hid in a cave and was crying out to God. Now, this was a man who had just experienced a momentous miracle of God from what was honestly a simple prayer. Yet here he is hiding in a cave, lonely and scared (and by the way, this is the same guy who had raised a widow’s son from the dead!) but here he is and his own words he says – “and I am alone…”

David in Psalm 22 was in a bad place. In Psalm 22:2 he cries – “O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer; by night, but I have no rest.” To me this sounds like a person in great distress, very possibly battling depression. Again he wrote in Psalm 38 – “My heart throbs, my strength fails me; And the light of my eyes, even that has gone from me. My loved ones and my friends stand aloof from my plague; And my kinsmen stand afar off.” Again, that sounds to me like someone afraid and alone.

One more – the great Prince of Preachers – Charles H. Spurgeon, the guy that so many preachers want to be like… wrote of himself – ” "Some years ago, I was the subject of fearful depression of spirit. Various troublous events had happened to me; I was also unwell, and my heart sank within me.”

Three giants among Believers. Who would have guessed it?

Ok just one more - I have a pastor friend of mine whose wife was in a terrible accident and left paralyzed from the neck down. They struggled but the pressed on. They kept their faith, he was a loving diligent husband who both worked and looked after his wife so faithfully, fortunately he had a position that would allow him to do that. In a meeting with several pastors one day someone asked him how his wife with doing and with great pride and excitement he told us of how wonderful she was doing and that she was make small progress...then one of the pastors turned the tables - and asked him... "How are you?" He gave the obligatory answer - "Im fine, I am doing ok." Which was followed up by - "No...I want to know how you are doing!" Then the dam broke. He broke down in tears and shared of how hard this was to see his wife like this, how hard it was to stay focused on his job, how hard it was to be a caregiver... and he cried. Several of us huddled around him, prayed, hugged him and offered support. He left that meeting with a burden lifted, if only for a moment, but knowing that someone out there cared about HIM.

 

Let me just share this thought with you.

Just because a person is out front, just because they seem to have it all together and have NOTHING AT ALL to be depressed or sad about does not mean that on the inside they are not crying in an emotional fetal position. That friend who seems to have it all, that leader who seems to be hard charging and successful, that friend who always helps others but is never helped by others… If you and I would take some time to just ask them… “Are you ok?” if we watch for the signs that might indicate some struggle… we might just surprise them with that compassionate question. And you don’t know that it might by the one smile, the one hand, the one simple exhibition of love that saves a life.

This is why it is so very important to have real relationships. First with God through Jesus. The three giants I mentioned above would all come to say that it was God who got them through. Secondly, have real relationship with real people, not Facebook relationships but relationships where you are able to be real, be broken, be honest, be happy or sad. Listen, observe, and don’t assume that there is nothing wrong. We are all human, we all need Jesus and we all need relationships that are genuine love.

If you know someone is hurting. Be an ear, be a shoulder, be a REAL friend. Don’t assume they are ok… ASK THEM – even if they seem to have it all together. If you are the one struggling, seek the help of a friend, a physician, a counselor and yes… you can talk to God.

I think if we were more real, more honest, more open in our relationships we could help each other so much better.

In Galatians 6:2 is says – “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” And by the way, the Law of Christ is the law of love. God knows what He is talking about.

 

This is not at all comprehensive, it certainly is not medical advice and I don’t claim to have all the answers. What I do know is this – we need God and we need each other.

Today – just the simple ramblings of a simple man.